The Role of a Woman Pt. 1
Submission. Silence. Respect. Humility. Modesty. These are qualities listed in 1 Peter 3:1-6 for a woman. Most women stop at submission or obedience, depending on their translation, and get a knot in their panties over what they have read. What is with this crazy anti-submission men need to roll over and play dead movement?! Why did submission become such a bad word? Why can men use terrible profanity in front of a woman, but mention respect and submission and he has just set her off? I get that some men are abusive. I do. I also get that most men aren't abusive. In fact, most men are generally kind-hearted, hard-working individuals who just want to make a living for their family. So why do we as women have such a hard time with submission? It's a mindset. It's the media. It's Hollywood. It's the few who have ruined it for the many. The truly abusive chauvinists have made women live in a state of anger and even aloofness. Some men are bad, so we must whip all of them in shape to make sure that ours don't get the idea that treating women as lesser creatures is okay. I hate to break it to you, but we are weaker creatures. Hang with me and let me explain. Take a look at Genesis 2: the Creation of Man and Woman. Man was crafted outside the Garden of Eden, made in the image of God, brought to the Garden, and put in charge of everything within. After man named the animals, God decided to make woman, so He put Adam in a sleep and took Adam's rib to fashion woman. Hold the phone. Verse 23 has Adam saying that woman was 'taken out of man'. Woman was made in the image of man. Man was made in the image of God. Woman was meant to be a companion. Matthew Henry states, “That the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.” There is no shame in being a woman. We are privileged to be helpers to men. I wouldn't want Jason's job. Ever. I don't want to work outside the home. I don't want to have to be the one in control. I don't want the stress of providing. I don't want to have to stand before God one day and answer for my family like a man will. A man is responsible for his wife. Proverbs 12:4 calls woman her husband's 'crown'. 1 Corinthians 11:7 calls woman a man's 'glory'. The popular wedding verses from Ephesians 5 say that a husband is to 'love his wife as Christ loved the church'. Do you know what Jesus did for the Church? Not the building. The Church is the group of people who follow Him. A general term for Christians. Anyway, Jesus sacrificed Himself willingly for the Church. He died. Man is to die to his needs to care for his wife. Good men are always willing to sacrifice their lives for their wives if the need is there. Men will get into physical brawls to protect his wife. Yep. I don't want that job. The role of a woman is in Proverbs 31, Ephesians 5, and 1 Peter 3. We are to have 'a gentle and quiet spirit'. We are to 'be in subjection' to our husbands. We are to 'respect' our husbands 'as unto the Lord'. You may have ruffled feathers right now, but I promise that if you do what the Bible says, you will have a peaceful, joyful life. I have been personally learning the difficult task of holding my tongue. That is a woman's greatest weapon and can be her greatest asset. We have the power to utterly cripple the men we love or uplift them. I am wrapping this up, I promise. This subject makes me get passionate because so many women are missing joy in their lives because they are too busy striving with men. Today, even if something your husband or even father does is infuriating, hold your tongue. Say nothing. And don't make faces, either. See what happens. One less fight. One baffled man. Okay, here's a nugget of wisdom for you. Men aren't stupid. They know when they have goofed. They don't need your input, thank you very much. Your man will be surprised when you don't speak. For today, try it. If there is no opportunity, try tomorrow. Don't do it for him if that is too hard. Do it because a gentle and quiet spirit is 'in the sight of God of great price' (1 Peter 3:4).
How did my challenge to hold your tongue work for you? Today's topic is the woman who doesn't follow her role. The villainess. The scary cat-fight woman that everyone cowers before. The take-charge, in-charge, don't-mess-with-my-decisions kind of woman. How about the self-righteous woman. The "I am never wrong" woman. They are all the same. They all go against instinct on how God created them. They all scare the mess out of me. I see nothing but neon 'avoid at all costs' signs smacked on their foreheads. You've seen these women. You usually feel sorry for their sweet husbands who quietly sit or stand in an inferior position and hope they aren't doing anything worth a nagging later. These are the women you don't want to see coming toward you. Hmm...how fast can I duck into this bathroom? Maybe she didn't see me, and I can hide in a stall! These women are everywhere. They are in church, school, your neighborhood or apartment building, your dorm, the local grocery store, you get it. Everywhere, and hardly avoidable. Please let someone ask me a random question so I can appear to be engaged in conversation and not have to talk to this woman. We all have the ability to turn into this kind of woman. The villainess. Women villains are so much scarier than men. I mean, c'mon. Jafar vs. Malificent. Gaston vs. Lady Tremaine. Horace and Jasper vs. Cruella De Vil. No contest! The women are always scarier! Because they are the antithesis of God's design for a gentler, weaker vessel. The compliment to man. The emotional side of God's own character. Lost. Lost to sin. Lost in the curse God put on woman to always strive with man and yet be in ultimate subjection to him (Genesis 3:16- "And upon the woman [God] said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee). Woman feels she must be in control, or nothing will turn out the way she wants it to. We rely on our intuition for guidance. Have you ever thought that maybe things aren't supposed to turn out the way we want them to? Have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, your husband has more wisdom than you in some areas? After all, if we are the compliment to man, then man must be strong in areas that we are weak and visa versa. However, we are the consistently weaker sex. 1 Peter 3:7-'Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together...' When we embrace the privilege of being the weaker vessel, we become the Proverbs 31 woman: 'She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life'. When we embrace our position to man, we stand out. We point to the Jesus in us when we speak respectfully (or don't speak at all!) about our husbands. Only Jesus can help us subdue our controlling nature. And, yes, we all want to control. When we fight to control, we become the Proverbs 12:9 and 19 woman. The woman who drives away the man she loves. The woman who silences him and cuts him off from her by her own doings. The villainess who sees her husband leave for work happy and return home in a mood because he doesn't want to be home. The woman whose home is a dungeon and not a safe haven for the man she loves. The woman who drives her husband to seek fulfillment elsewhere because his heart is no longer safe with the woman he could once be at his weakest around. You have the awesome responsibility to guard your husband's heart. Be his Cinderella. Be his Snow White. Be the woman he saved from loneliness who looked at him with stars in her eyes when he became her hero. Our husbands may not always deserve royal treatment, but they don't deserve a wagging tongue, either. Just be silent. Choose your battles carefully. Make sure they are worth hurting your husband's heart. If he is truly at fault, definitely don't be a doormat! However, picking at the little things puts a brick in his emotional wall between you every time you open your mouth. Be his greatest treasure. I promise he will change if you examine your own faults before attacking his. He will cherish you for your weakness. He will become your hero once again. Today I challenge you to pick your battles wisely. Submit to your husband's authority instead of ruffling your feathers at him. Continue to hold your tongue. Surprise him by dropping out of an argument and telling him he's right. Because, you know, he very well may be.
The Role of a Woman Pt. 2
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How did my challenge to hold your tongue work for you? Today's topic is the woman who doesn't follow her role. The villainess. The scary cat-fight woman that everyone cowers before. The take-charge, in-charge, don't-mess-with-my-decisions kind of woman. How about the self-righteous woman. The "I am never wrong" woman. They are all the same. They all go against instinct on how God created them. They all scare the mess out of me. I see nothing but neon 'avoid at all costs' signs smacked on their foreheads. You've seen these women. You usually feel sorry for their sweet husbands who quietly sit or stand in an inferior position and hope they aren't doing anything worth a nagging later. These are the women you don't want to see coming toward you. Hmm...how fast can I duck into this bathroom? Maybe she didn't see me, and I can hide in a stall! These women are everywhere. They are in church, school, your neighborhood or apartment building, your dorm, the local grocery store, you get it. Everywhere, and hardly avoidable. Please let someone ask me a random question so I can appear to be engaged in conversation and not have to talk to this woman. We all have the ability to turn into this kind of woman. The villainess. Women villains are so much scarier than men. I mean, c'mon. Jafar vs. Malificent. Gaston vs. Lady Tremaine. Horace and Jasper vs. Cruella De Vil. No contest! The women are always scarier! Because they are the antithesis of God's design for a gentler, weaker vessel. The compliment to man. The emotional side of God's own character. Lost. Lost to sin. Lost in the curse God put on woman to always strive with man and yet be in ultimate subjection to him (Genesis 3:16- "And upon the woman [God] said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee). Woman feels she must be in control, or nothing will turn out the way she wants it to. We rely on our intuition for guidance. Have you ever thought that maybe things aren't supposed to turn out the way we want them to? Have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, your husband has more wisdom than you in some areas? After all, if we are the compliment to man, then man must be strong in areas that we are weak and visa versa. However, we are the consistently weaker sex. 1 Peter 3:7-'Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together...' When we embrace the privilege of being the weaker vessel, we become the Proverbs 31 woman: 'She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life'. When we embrace our position to man, we stand out. We point to the Jesus in us when we speak respectfully (or don't speak at all!) about our husbands. Only Jesus can help us subdue our controlling nature. And, yes, we all want to control. When we fight to control, we become the Proverbs 12:9 and 19 woman. The woman who drives away the man she loves. The woman who silences him and cuts him off from her by her own doings. The villainess who sees her husband leave for work happy and return home in a mood because he doesn't want to be home. The woman whose home is a dungeon and not a safe haven for the man she loves. The woman who drives her husband to seek fulfillment elsewhere because his heart is no longer safe with the woman he could once be at his weakest around. You have the awesome responsibility to guard your husband's heart. Be his Cinderella. Be his Snow White. Be the woman he saved from loneliness who looked at him with stars in her eyes when he became her hero. Our husbands may not always deserve royal treatment, but they don't deserve a wagging tongue, either. Just be silent. Choose your battles carefully. Make sure they are worth hurting your husband's heart. If he is truly at fault, definitely don't be a doormat! However, picking at the little things puts a brick in his emotional wall between you every time you open your mouth. Be his greatest treasure. I promise he will change if you examine your own faults before attacking his. He will cherish you for your weakness. He will become your hero once again. Today I challenge you to pick your battles wisely. Submit to your husband's authority instead of ruffling your feathers at him. Continue to hold your tongue. Surprise him by dropping out of an argument and telling him he's right. Because, you know, he very well may be.
The Role of a Woman Pt. 3
So. Did you choose your battles wisely this past week? Are you seeing the benefits of not saying everything that pops into your head? When Jason preaches, he says 'silence can't be repeated'. Oh, how wise. I can piggyback on that and add: silence also can't destroy a trust relationship, but an uncontrolled tongue can. Today I am going to hit on a few 'mini' topics. We women seem to get a bad rap in the Bible. We are told we can't be leaders in the church. We are told we should submit to our husbands. We are told that we are second to men. We are the spoils of war. We would have had no future if we were chosen as one of the king's concubines yet never actually used. (Hmm...sometimes beauty stinks, huh?) We are pushed to work from sunup to sundown providing a welcoming home for our families as the Proverbs 31 woman. Can I just say that I am glad to be a woman? That sounds contradictory, I know, but hear me out. We never had a mandatory demand to go to war and risk our lives for our country. We never have to answer to God for our husbands (whew! Good thing!). We are the first to be rescued (Titanic, anyone? Ever hear of 'women and children first'?). We are the last to be blamed (Genesis has God looking to Adam to take responsibility for his wife before asking Eve what happened). We are man's greatest treasure. It is horrifying to strike a woman, yet men hit each other for fun. It is disgusting to talk 'sailor' in front of a lady. You get my drift? Being a woman isn't so bad, and, hey, we get make-up and shopping sprees, hair-dos and manicures, accessories and diamonds, you get the picture. We are supposedly the underdogs, according to the feminist movement. May I make a bold statement? The feminist movement was not the act of woman asserting her independence. That was the lie to mask the truth. The feminist movement was woman in direct rebellion against God's design for her. We went from enjoying our curves to taping them in. Having long hair (1 Corinthians 11:15) to chopping it off like a man. We started cussing, drinking, smoking, hanging with the 'big boys', and becoming shallow. We lost sight of God's design for us and thus began the obsession with diets and thinness. Heaven forbid we have baby-bearing hips! Nowadays, heaven forbid we have small breasts and no cleavage. Sheesh, world. Make up your mind. Either no hips and small breasts or bigger hips and bigger breasts. I mean, it's kind of a package deal. Here is a statement to live by for that: no alleys, no valleys. No cleavage. No bottom crack. That isnot attractive. But it is cultural. We live in a society that has a disdain for all things feminine, and a love for all things, well, fleshy. We are put on display all the time. How hardened can we be? How 'stylish', regardless of becoming no better than a Thanksgiving turkey? Yep. I just compared you to a turkey if you are not modest.
I watch the men in my life drool with enthusiasm over the turkey as it is being basted. It is for immediate pleasure. The anticipation of consumption is almost overwhelming. You know, ironically I see that same look on men's faces when they look at an underdressed woman. The anticipation of consumption. Men are wired to admire beauty. Heck. If it wasn't for sex, most men probably would never marry. They would just work away. They don't feel the need to have children. God told Adam to work, then He brought Eve and commanded them to 'be fruitful and multiply'. After Eve. Men don't need to have children. They don't need wives. That's why it is just plain stupid for a girl to live with a guy and expect him to marry her. He is getting everything he wants with no commitment. Why get in a covenant that will just cost more money to get out of? Beloved, your role is to be feminine. To be a lady of wisdom. A lady whose modesty is not only outward but inward. You can be inwardly immodest. What comes out of your mouth? How does it make others react? Does it bring shame? Embarrassment? Horror? Shock? Hurt? Are you selfish? Do you not care? Women have lost sight of their main role. To be man's helpmeet. In Hebrew, the word is ezer. Do you know what this translates as? Savior. Not like Jesus, but God saw that man was alone, and so He gave man a savior from loneliness. A perfect balance to Adam's own strengths and weaknesses. He gave man woman. You are a gift. A savior. You are not trash. You are not unworthy of man. You are man's gift. Start acting like it, girl! Don't be the villainess. Be the gift God created you to be. Don't you see how precious you are? That's why you should be modest. You should wrap yourself like a gift. That's why you should enjoy being beautiful. Man is visual. He is wired that way. It is not perverted. It allows him to appreciate you all the more. You should be wrapped as carefully as a beautiful Christmas package. The 'Do not open until Christmas' sticker should read 'Do not open until Marriage'. Your body should be kept sacred. You are sexy when you are modest. You actually leave something to his imagination! You are mysterious, not a turkey dinner. Your lips should speak words of encouragement and respect. Your husband has trusted you with his heart. What an honor! He can't be vulnerable to anyone else like he can be to you. Don't throw that away! Relish in your role, ezer. Maybe I will write about women again, maybe not. I guess it depends on what life throws my way, but I challenge you with these three things: learn the gift of silence. Choose your battles wisely. Behave like an ezer.
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| Here's you. Don't you look just yummy? |
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